In June I was fortunate to spend the evening with good friends at a large and impressive lobster bake. It was the culminating meal of the annual St. Andrews Seafood Festival held in my hometown of St. Andrews, New Brunswick. It offers more lobster (and wine) than even the most avid connoisseur could anticipate. While the uninitiated to the feast dallied in front of the myriad salads, rolls and chowders on offer, those of us who are the most mercenary of lobster consumers headed straight to the piece de resistance: unlimited steaming lobsters served on trays.
In the Canadian Maritimes it is called a lobster dinner, served with clarified butter, preferably with buckets of steamed mussels and topped off with strawberry shortcake or a crisp. However, to Mainer’s it’s “steamed lobstah suppah with buttah.”  Pronounced either way, it should not be missed if you find yourself traveling the highways and byways of Eastern Canada or New England.

Just a little history on our celebrated red friend. Lobster was not always considered a gastronomic delight.  In fact, to the early colonists of Maine and New Brunswick lobsters were considered to be of little value for anything at all. Their seemingly impenetrable shells, multiple legs, beady eyes and curvaceous claws made them as unlikely a food sources as a pinecone. Enter the idea of lobsters as plant food.

After their first few harsh winters, the early settlers of both our great nations quickly realized the importance of establishing and nurturing a household garden.  Pilfering corn from the local First Nations groups was not well received, and the McCain brothers had yet to make their historic entrance on the tables of North America with convenient bags of frozen peas and broccoli. In order to ensure they had at least one fresh turnip to boil for Christmas dinner, a colonist’s household garden was a must. Gardens produce best when fed. While cows are often favored for this purpose, in the developing towns of New Brunswick and Maine, adding the odor of cows to those of outdoor privies and muddy roads was likely looked upon most unfavorably by the local council.

Eventually one enterprising colonist looked to the shores of the local bays and waterways and realized that the lobsters found there would make excellent garden compost. Soon lobsters became the fertilizer of choice and were spread in their thousands, nurturing the beans and tomatoes of gardens throughout the region. One has to wonder whether the smell of cow dung or rotting lobsters would have been preferable on a hot June day.

In those bygone days, putting lobster on the dinner table was a sign that one was most definitely not a financial success.  Perhaps the equivalent of today’s fried Spam dinner. The boiled turnip was definitely preferable. We can perhaps feel a twinge of sympathy for the poor settler’s child who trudged to school and opened his lunch pail, only to be ridiculed for his lobster sandwich by his mutton eating schoolmates. Lobster was considered a poor man’s meal. While I have no confirmation of this, one restaurateur told me that at one time Maine had to pass legislation forbidding prison kitchens from serving lobster to inmates more than twice per week.  Little could any of them know that in a few short generations a chilled lobster sandwich lightly tossed with mayonnaise and a faint hint of celery and tarragon would be considered a culinary delight. Oh to be born in the wrong era.

As to the creatures themselves, it is interesting to note that lobsters are not red while they are still in the land of the living. Most are a variegated combination of green and orange and would probably like to stay that way. However, the occasional white or, even rarer, blue lobster can be found. In June of 2011 a spectacularly electric blue lobster was caught in the waters off PEI. His capture was so rare, in fact, that “Fluffy” was featured in nightly newscasts throughout the United States.

Fluffy is bright blue as a result of a genetic mutation and will not find himself awaiting his fate in the lobster tanks of Cavendish Beach anytime soon. Rather, as a one-in-four-million occurrence, he will spend his days blissfully ensconced in a local aquarium being hand fed by happy tourists. Who knew having a genetic mutation could be so handy?

Lobsters lay millions of eggs each year in late summer and are a major food source to various aquatic creatures. To give them a fighting chance, we now have hatcheries that nurture the eggs along. Released into the ocean when they are one inch long greatly increases their rate of survival. Lobster females carry the small orange eggs on the undersides of their bellies before releasing them. If caught in this state, they are supposed to be returned to the water. To be served a lobster with eggs attached is considered a culinary faux pas.

The lobsters of the cold waters of the Northeast are not to be confused with their much smaller Southern cousins, the crayfish or crawdad. While those crustaceans are undoubtedly delicious, we find them handy for stuffing our mussels and clams!

Lobsters are best consumed outside the environs of the well heeled. Lobster eating should be associated with plastic tablecloths, newspaper, large bowls, sharp implements, fingers and lots of napkins and water. This is not a meal for the fastidious. Eating lobster in a restaurant usually involves being given a ridiculous plastic bib with pictures of local lighthouses or “down east” sayings printed on it. It has been speculated that these are actually for the amusement of the non lobster eating patrons, but do yourself, your shirt, your slacks and your socks a favor. Wear the bib.

Once cooked, a lobster should be cut down the center on the underside from top to bottom and then cracked backward to expose the meat. Dipped in butter, the meal will be one to remember.

But description cannot suffice. Should you find yourself anywhere close to the areas of the Northeast, which offer a true down-home lobster dinner or “lobstah suppah,” bring your wallet, don your bib and go.  You’ll be glad you did.

Steamed Lobster Dinner:
 One 1.5 pound lobster per person (anything smaller is not worth the effort)
 Large (10-gallon) lobster pot with lid
 Lobster crackers (similar to nutcrackers)
 Clarified butter
 Newspaper
 Napkins
 Large bowls

Process:
 Place about two inches of water in the bottom of the lobster pot.
 Place pot on a heating surface that covers the bottom (barbeques work well for this).
 Allow the water to come to a full rolling boil.
 Ask all persons of a sensitive nature to leave the room.
 Place the lobsters in steaming water and cover immediately. (Be sure to remove the rubber bands from
 the claws if purchased from a retail store.  Rubber does not add favorably to the flavor profile.)
 Allow to steam for approx 15 minutes or just until the lobsters turn red.
 Place in a large bowl.
 Cover eating surface with newspaper.
 Use a large kitchen knife and a mallet to crack the lobsters down the center on their undersides and to
 crack the large claws.
 Serve with clarified butter, corn on the cob, and brown rolls.
 Roll up your sleeves and enjoy!