The inventor of the GPS was obviously a genius.  What this person didn’t invent, however, was intelligent users.  Let me tell you about my recent experience with a GPS enduring during a driving trip in Italy.

Of great importance is the fact that I was traveling with my husband, who had appointed me to be the navigator after his muddled attempts to fill the position.  Armed with written directions, maps, a GPS and little sense of direction, we set off on various driving excursions within Umbria and Tuscany, the first of which to find our hotel.

This was a challenge; it turned out that, although the address placed the hotel in Fratta Todina, it was actually in Spinneta.  We set the GPS to Fratta Todina, thinking that was accurate, and then literally drove in circles as we followed the GPS directions. We finally called the villa  and asked for more complete directions. The GPS continually wanted us to turn on tiny roads with names only it could envision.  But I stood my ground and refused to perform; end result – we got lost, and the little car on the GPS got a lot of exercise.

The point of being in Umbria was to visit charming historic towns in the area and in Tuscany.  Our hosts explained to us that from Spinneta to Montepulciano the driving time was approximately 2 hours and 15 minutes– a lovely drive through the countryside.  “Just get on the main road and head in this direction and you will be fine.” 

Within 10 minutes, we were lost!  Out came  the maps, which either didn’t have the names of the towns or the route numbers necessary to match up to what we saw in front of us as we drove.  You can go for quite a distance without any idea if you are even close to going the right way.  This 2 hour and 15 minute drive quickly turned into 3 and a half hours, but it was beautiful – my husband saw so many sunflowers he wanted to capture on film even while going 120 km. per hour.

Each venture out from Spinneta went pretty much the same way – to Orvieto, to Assisi, to Civita.  We never missed an opportunity to either go in the wrong direction, miss a landmark or a road, or cause the GPS to furiously “recalculate.” We  watched the little car image turn in circles with a big blue question mark on the hood.

When we arrived in Florence my husband insisted on using the GPS to guide us in walking around from one site to another.  On principle, I was opposed to this – that’s why maps were created; I put up as many obstacles as humanly possible short of threatening divorce.  Invariably, I would get us lost and the GPS would work out great.  One point for the husband, and one for the GPS.

Fast forward to a different Villa stay in Tuscany, where recommended driving trips to such sites as a sculpture park not far from Vagliagli sounded like an excellent idea.  Again, out came the GPS, three maps and three pages of directions. The written directions mentioned “dust roads,” and that was an understatement.  Again, within half an hour, we were lost. Curiously, the GPS took us away from anything that looked like a decent road and lead us down as many tiny dusty roads it could find.

The time indication on the GPS for this supposed hour and a half ride was predicted to be 12 hours.  My husband figured the GPS was on New York time (suddenly), and ignored it.  After two and a half hours we found the park and then proceeded to a few other stops along the planned route.  Each and every time the GPS directed us to small remote roads; at that point we had no choice but to follow because we were so far off that any traditional options were not apparent.  At one point, I had three maps, the GPS and written directions and begged my husband to pull into a gas station for directions.

On the way to Milan from Cinque Terre, we were simply trying to get to the Italian toll roads called Autostrade, to follow the signs to Milan Malpensa airport.  The GPS said this was again a 12-hour-trip and directed us to as many small, inconsequential roads as possible.  I simply refused to even look at the GPS and directed us to the Autostrade.  All of a sudden, my husband started to laugh.  What was so funny? 

He realized, now, after all we had been through, that he left the GPS set on “pedestrian” since Florence.  So, we weren’t on New York time; we were on “walking” time.  At that point I thought perhaps I should have married better, but then I realized I never read the directions either!